crap and there it goes.. the crapiest thing you ever read!

Everyone do cry. Everyone do cry for many reasons.

Dan gw? One of those everyone. And the reason, a boy called K. And the thing He does to me? Don’t know, but it’s just simply ruin that night.

And I cry.

The things I do remember that night, adalah .. gw marah untuk hal sepele gak penting, dan itu rasanya betul-betul gak enak. Gw tutup telpon. Gw taro tu esia di wastafel. Gw tutup pintu kamar mandi, and I laid down on my bed. Do the cry. Keep in my silent. Tapi gw bukan orang yg cukup pintar untuk menyembunyikan panas meleleh di pipi gw hahaha. And there she comes, my room-mate. Dan gambaran terakhir yg gw inget adalah.. I cry and I really can’t do the breath.

Dari tangisan malam itu, I do realize many many things. Some, maybe facts. But some, maybe just thoughts. Then, I watched Grey’s last day after I cried, and I loveeee this scene when Izzie talks to Denny..

“I always love you. I will always love you. But I have to move on.”

Dan hari ini ketika keadaan antara gw dan K sudah cukup membaik, ooh I hate the things that I still don’t want to go home. I keep on escaping Jakarta, lebih tepatnya.

But I love persons who really come cheerful-ing me when I was still laying on my bed. Room-mate, the best person I ever met, yang betul-betul tidur disamping gw dan keeping her trust that I’ve got something to move on, that I can’t be like this hurting myself to love K. Adalagi Sasa, yang dengan mudahnya membuat gw terharu biru pas gw lagi boker. Not a special words, but she asks me to come home. Come HOME! The place that I’ve been escaping for a quite long weeks later. But she trusts me to come home, finding the things that will makes me better. Dan adalagi Rayi, the most evilish person I ever met, who sends me a voicenote and talk in her pussy-voice “Tantee jangan sedih yaaa”. Oh I love you all..

And this, a note that Rayi gave to me:

Tan, lo tuh super no worries.

Then I shouldn’t be worry about anything distract me, right?